Educational Magazines
by Saccharo
Summary: When Nine "loses" his magazines, everyone in Class Zero starts to panic.  Perhaps he should've told them earlier when they were or else he wouldn't have to face something worse than death...


**Does anyone have school? It's so long and tiring! XP**

**This is just another random story; I wanted to have more time with Nine. XD**

**Also, I'm trying to look for a beta reader who would read over a soon-to-be-coming story. If you're interested, then PM me (I will warn you; it is rated M! Lots of gore and violence!).**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**…**

Ace knew that Nine was a pervert. A _disgusting _pervert. A pervert who would always grope random, innocent girls' butts and breasts, a pervert who would always say something so dirty that Queen has to beat up his ass. That pervert also happened to be his friend and he loves to read porn. Fanfic, books—anything related to that disgusting word is pretty much the scarred man's favorites!

There were times when Ace hoped for his friend to stop reading dirty magazines and **this **happened to be one of them.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!" He wasn't shocked as he heard Seven's yell at Nine, but he rubbed his forehead tiredly. He, Seven, and Eight managed to corner the scarred teen in their classroom. Luckily, Kurasame wasn't here; he was out in a meeting. It was their break right now, but the students used this opportunity to confront Nine. The blonde teen gritted his teeth at the silver-haired woman, his eyes fierce.

"What? It's only magazines—" In a second, Nine was on the floor, a red mark displayed on his right cheek. Ace and Eight glanced at each other before viewing a Behemoth-like Seven, her fists clenching.

"And… you have no idea where they are?" She asked sternly, not leaving her gaze. Nine spat out a curse before standing up, using nearby chairs as support.

"Like I said—they're only magazines!" He shouted back angrily, eyes glazing at Seven. Ace noticed that the female teen had summoned her trusty whip and he knew the purpose.

"_Just _magazines?" She repeated slowly, gritting her teeth, "Nine—everyone knows that you hate studying and reading. Everyone knows that you're a pervert. Everyone knows that you're the only person in all of Rebrum to read **PORN**!"

Of course, Ace knew that Seven was usually quiet. Seeing her speak very loud was actually considered to be funny. Unfortunately, her current behavior was not a laughing matter.

"Nine—you're _sure _that you have no idea where they are…?" Eight spoke up uneasily and Ace also noticed that he had his fists ready for battle. Nine glanced at the newly-summoned weapons before letting out a sigh.

"I left them on my desk and when class was over, they were gone!" He yelled hotly; Ace was surprised that even their class Tonberry was unable to notice the dirty magazines, "I tried looking for them and then when Seven asked what's wrong—you guys showed up like some crazy mob!"

Ace had to fight off a smirk as Seven rounded on Nine, her azure eyes shooting daggers at him. "Nine—you left some porn magazines on your own desk and as soon as class was over—they were gone! Don't you remember who came in here? The Moogles! Those annoying Moogles came in this classroom to clean up the mess Cinque and Cater made and they must have taken your magazines! Magazines that have pictures of _nude _men and women! You know what will happen when those damn pets find out? They'll report about how Class Zero reads** porn**! All of the students—besides Class Zero—will start spreading the news and say 'everyone in Class Zero are perverts'! Do you want that? Well—maybe you do, but we definitely don't want that!"

Nine scoffed and, ignoring a glare from Seven, shrugged. Ace, just like Seven, was also worried of how the public would think about this, but he was mortified that the scarred teen didn't care at all.

"What? Let them know—I don't care!" Nine snapped irritably as he stood defiantly at Seven. The silver-haired teen snarled at him, but didn't punch him, much to Ace's surprise. Instead, she backed away and gave a glance at Eight and Ace.

"Nine's useless—we'll have to find those stupid magazines now." Without another word, she left the classroom, leaving the boys alone. The non-perverted boys stared at each other before altering their gazes at the perverted teen. He let out curses, but stopped as he noticed them watching him.

"Now what?" He groaned as he rubbed his bruised cheek, wincing as he did, "Shit—that really hurts…"

Seven was right; Nine was no good to them if he won't help find the porn magazines. Leaving Nine alone to nurse his injury, Ace and the brunette followed Seven.

**…**

Finding the damn magazines was harder than Ace expected.

Seven could be right; some dumb Moogles must have come in the room and cleaned up junk, including the porn magazines. If that happened, then all of the nations would eventually think that Class Zero are _perverts_! The thought obviously mortified him and he didn't what that to happen or dwell like that.

To his shock, it had only been three full hours and there was no progress.

Eventually, thanks to Seven and Eight, all of Class Zero knew what was going with the porn magazines. While everyone was searching for the dirty papers, a certain black-haired female teen had rushed off to deal with a certain pervert. Perhaps it was to interrogate Nine, but it was a good idea that she did.

Still, there were no signs of the magazines.

Ace sighed as he leaned against a tree, feeling exhausted. All of Class Zero had searched everywhere in the magic school, yet they were unable to find the magazines. He hated looking for those dirty magazines and he was starting to get worried that they would be revealed to some Moogles or another student—

"Ace? What are you doing here?" He froze as soon as he heard his own name. This has to be a dream; it must have been the bright sunlight that made him see things unclearly or something…

"Ace? Hey, Ace!" Okay, he wasn't dreaming at all. Slowly, Ace could only let the dread fill him as he faced the source of the voice, feeling his cheeks flushing.

_Shit… I… am… so… dead…_

Deuce.

In less than a millisecond, he quickly stood up, grass sticking on his uniform as soon as he spotted the brunette, widening his eyes at her.

"D-DEUCE! I—uh… um…" He stammered as she tilted her head, her emerald eyes filled with concern.

"Um… what's wrong?" She asked as she took a step back, only causing Ace to back away again. He quickly brushed his blonde hair before swallowing his saliva, unable to control his nervousness.

"I… I was looking for… for Nine's magazines…" He mentally punched himself.

_What the hell—Deuce doesn't know about __**porn**__! _"Dense" Deuce was always innocent and, of course, she clearly doesn't know what porn is. Ace was sure that the rest of Class Zero didn't tell her or else she… she would've been scarred for life! Although, he did remember the last time she had said something… inappropriate. Thanks to Jack, Deuce knew what the word "sex" was! To make matters worse, she had been going around the school asking every student on what "sex" was! She even went as far as to ask Kurasame and Ace didn't want to remember a vomiting teacher!

He prayed to the gods that Deuce did not know porn.

"Magazines?" Perhaps his wish was answered; "Dense" Deuce looked oblivious as she blinked, "Why? Did Nine forget his magazines?"

Ace hastily nodded, hoping that the bright color on his face would fade away soon. "Everyone was trying to look for them, but we can't find them anywhere. Queen is out trying to talk to Nine while we're searching the magazines."

"Dense" Deuce nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving Ace. "Oh! So why didn't you ask me for help?"

_That answer was kind of obvious…_

"Er… I suppose we could use your help…" Ace mumbled, wiping moss from his sleeves, "But I think it's best if you follow me; I think we would find them faster if we worked together."

_Just in case you end up seeing nude pictures of people…_

"Okay! Let's go!" Without warning, Deuce linked hands with Ace's, ignoring a jolt from him, "We'll go find those magazines!"

Ace didn't want to think he made a mistake of letting Deuce join the hunt as he felt his cheeks heating up, eyes widening as he was forced to walk side-by-side with Deuce. His steps were awkward as they tried to match Deuce's.

_Jesus Christ—please help us find the magazines! And fast!_

**…**

Indeed. The gods weren't with the searching Class Zero.

Nine let out a sigh as he crossed his arms, wincing as he felt stings emitting from his right cheek, where Queen had slapped. Said person groaned as she bowed her head under a table, trying to look for his magazines. They were still in their classroom, only it was about night. Because she was in front of him, Nine had the chance to see what kind of "undies" she was wearing.

_Interesting. I never knew that our Class President loved the color white…_

He quickly raised his head as soon as he heard a crack near him. Nine turned around, only to face the rest of Class Zero. Despite their crestfallen yet furious faces, the scarred teen could only smirk at them.

"So… didn't find them now, did you?" He asked sarcastically. Groans came from the group and Cater walked near him, her red cape following her.

"You—" she jabbed a finger at Nine, "—are so busted when Kurasame hears about this!"

Nine huffed as he rested his head on his arms, feeling amused. "He's still in that meeting, isn't he?"

"He'll be out in ten minutes or so." Nine snapped his head at Machina, who glared at him, "Once that happens, Cater's prediction will come true."

"Whatever, Dracula," Nine countered irritably as he placed his legs on a table, "I really don't care if I get busted or not."

He heard a growl from Machina, but nothing else. Queen, who was looking under tables, let out an exaggerated sigh as she stared at the sitting man, teeth gritting.

"I hope that Kurasame will give you an appropriate punishment…" Nine frowned at her before sighing, letting his gaze go up at the ceiling.

"Like what? Clean up the damn Chocobos' poop?" He straightened his posture before mimicking their instructor's voice playfully, "'Nine, today you're going to clean up the Chocobos' piss'."

Everyone wasn't amused. Even Jack and Cinque didn't laugh.

"Seriously though—I can't find them anywhere…" Sice rubbed the back of her neck, "I did see you reading those magazines today, but I don't know how they disappeared."

The pervert sighed again as he stared at his allies, feeling tired.

"Really though; I don't know where they went. Sooner or later, Seven's prediction will come true," he said, noticing the whip-wielding teenager stiffen.

"Hey—where's Ace and Deuce?" Rem spoke up, "I haven't seen them…"

"Then they must be looking for the magazines…" King answered for her. It grew quiet in the room; even Nine didn't know what to say.

"Um… what will happen if 'Dense' Deuce finds the magazines?" Eight asked gingerly, his brown eyes showing worry. Everyone was mute, but they obviously couldn't answer the question. Nine let his mouth go agape; the though really didn't come in his mind.

"M-Maybe… she'll have nightmares…?" Jack suggested cautiously, his blonde hair waving, "I mean—she doesn't know what they are… right…?"

"What the hell are you saying?" Seven rounded on Jack, who was taken aback, "If she does know… then I'm not sure what's going to happen! You taught her what… what that word meant and she had no clue! Don't you remember? She said that Nine and Queen had sex—"

However and fortunately, the door behind them opened again, causing everyone's heads to face the arrival. Ace stepped out along with Deuce, their eyes widening as they noticed everyone was in the classroom. Nine stood up from his seat, his eyes focusing on the duo.

"Did you find them?" He asked quickly, hoping that Ace would answer, not Deuce. Ace groaned as he shook his head.

"Can't find them anywhere…" Everyone sighed and groaned, including Nine himself. Only Deuce didn't as she tilted her head.

"What does Nine's magazines look like?" Everyone turned away from Deuce; they clearly didn't tell her what type of magazines Nine read.

"Are you two on a date…?" Cinque snickered as she noticed the duo together, "Aw… you guys are so cute…"

"S-Shut up!" Ace blushed as he walked away from Deuce, heading towards Queen with a red face, "Q-Queen, any luck?"

"What does it look like?" The answer was obvious; everyone couldn't find the porn magazines. The atmosphere was silent before Deuce started speaking again.

"Um…" Nine rubbed his forehead as he heard Deuce talk, "About… about the magazines…"

She was going to repeat the same question again and everyone won't answer—

"Nine, didn't you give me something to read?"

Nine froze. Everyone froze. It was like someone or something had made the air chilly as the words registered in his mind. He diverted his attention to the brunette, who was holding her hands uneasily.

_Oh crap—_

"I… I did, but they weren't my magazines…" He answered quickly, hoping that he was imagining everyone's gazes at him. Deuce tilted her head as she frowned.

"Really? But… but it was a picture book…"

Perhaps Cater's prediction was going to come true; Nine will be busted and clean up the Chocobos' poop.

"And… the pictures weren't anything that I've seen before…"

Hell, he wasn't expecting her to give it away!

"Nine… why are all the people… having **sex**…?"

If he recalled, Jack and Seven had taught Deuce the word, "sex" before. After that, she went around asking questions about what the word meant and she wanted specific details, too. Because of that, Nine got a little too carried away as the scene replayed in his mind.

"_Here you go, Deuce!" Nine handed her two magazines, which were concealed by a paper cover. Deuce frowned at him, her emerald eyes showing confusion._

"_Um… what is this, Nine?" He smiled joyfully, hoping that no one would notice the scene. He glanced around, only finding Seven, Eight, and Ace working on their papers. They were at a satisfying distance; they wouldn't notice him giving out his magazines to Deuce._

"_Picture books! Just for you!" He whispered energetically, "But you got to give them back tomorrow, before or during class, okay? If you read them, then don't tell anyone, got it?"_

"_Dense" Deuce smiled widely as she accepted the magazines._

"_Sure! I'll take good care of them, I promise!" She said, "Thanks a lot, Nine!"_

He wanted to have some fun with "Dense" Deuce and with that, he gave her his porn magazines. Of course, she didn't know what they were, but he was trying to "toughen" her up. Sooner or later, she'll end up in a sixty-nine position with someone, maybe even Ace—

"Wait a minute—are you saying Nine gave you his **porn **magazines?"

But Nine never expected for "Dense" Deuce to spill out the beans.

Before thinking, he rushed towards her, holding her with his arms.

"N-No! I never gave her my magazines!" Nine shouted desperately as Deuce tried to squirm away, his arms around her tightly. Everyone gawked at them, their mouths agape. Nine hoped that they would believe him and just think that he just gave "Dense" Deuce a random book…

"NINE! HOW DARE YOU!" He looked at Ace, his face a deep red, "HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO DEUCE!"

The scarred teen was about to open his lips, but noticed that the silver-haired blonde wasn't looking at him, but at Deuce. In fact, everyone was staring at her as well. Queen clasped her mouth with both hands, purple eyes widening. Ace was in rage with a scarlet face and the others were goggling at them. Nine frowned before following their gazes—

—to notice that his right hand… was **groping** Deuce's left breast…

It felt good, warm, and squishy, but it would have been quite humorous if only the situation wasn't so serious. Nine felt as if cold water splash on him as he let the dread fill his mind, watching everyone's eyes staring at them. Deuce continued to break free, but Nine had a good grip. Or… he was just too afraid to let it go.

In less than a millisecond, everyone had summoned their weapons excluding himself and Deuce. Queen dangerously positioned her saber at him, her face pink. Ace was very furious, like a Behemoth. His face was red, but his eyes were the scariest of them all. Even the weird Cinque and kind-hearted Rem were pointing their weapons at him.

In less than a millisecond, Nine knew that he was going to die.

"YOU… YOU ARE SO DEAD!" By the time Ace screamed, it all went black.

…

"So… let me get this straight; Nine gave Deuce his porn magazines _and _he groped her?" Kurasame could hardly register the thought yet a part of him told him to believe it. Nine was surely unpredictable, but handing over his porn magazines to innocent Deuce… was hard unpredictable. Everyone nodded in unison except for Deuce, who pouted at him.

"But… but the magazines… they weren't that bad…" She said, "I mean—they were educational! It talks about how sex works, the positions sex would always be, and everything that had sex in it!"

Kurasame could feel bile coming up his throat as he stared at his Tonberry, who looked like it, too, was about to barf. He put on a calm face as he stared at the students.

Ace, who was next to Deuce, whispered in her ears, his face pink. Kurasame hoped that he was talking about the "dangers" of sex and that it wasn't educational.

Trey and Cinque frowned at each as they chatted along; Kurasame noticed that Trey had talked for over two minutes.

Cater was busy talking to Sice about how Chocobos grow very fast; it was their homework to learn why.

Seven and Eight stayed silent as they looked at their papers, working quietly.

Jack and King were also staying mute; probably because Jack was afraid of King's cold-looking face.

Machina and Rem were talking quite fine; after all, they are childhood friends.

Queen was busy lecturing to… a bruised, broken-legged Nine, who seemed to be sleeping and the female teenager didn't notice it yet. Kurasame investigated Nine's injuries, finding it quite disturbing.

A card was stuck up in his left nostril, an arrow was also on the other nostril, a big mark resembling a mage mace was planted on his right cheek, a few magic bullets stuck on his red cape, the fabric was also ruined by slice-like marks. On his neck were red whip marks, a rather huge bruise on his left cheek, a long scab on his chin, another scab on his left hand, and more bullets sticking on his black jacket.

At first, Kurasame was wondering whether or not to punish Nine; seeing up all… bloodied up by his comrades (Except Deuce) made him actually feel pity for him. He was considering making the scarred teen clean up all the Chocobos' mess, but he won't be able to do that in this state. He sighed as Queen slapped Nine's left cheek, where Eight punched it, waking him up. Another argument started between them, but Kurasame didn't mind. He sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking at his beloved Tonberry.

"Once he's healed, make sure he _does _clean up the Chocobos' poop…"

**…**


End file.
